Part III of The Unauthorized Hagiography of Python Anghelo: Yes, The Part With The Pinball Sex
Photo courtesy of Phoebe James Smith (pictured)
There is no doubt in my mind that the late, great Python Anghelo was an eccentric genius who earnestly believed that pinball was a genuine American art form. His work advanced the scope of what a pinball game could be, and he always believed that pinball would continue to be relevant to every new generation. He had a photographic memory and an artistic talent that was only matched in its attention to anatomical detail by the great Renaissance masters. All this mixed together with the surreal imagination of Salvador Dali.
However. And I say the following with the deepest respect and admiration: Python Anghelo was also a boozing, drug-addled, egomaniacal, degenerate sex-fiend! There is absolutely no way anyone in this day and age would ever hire a man like him to make games for children!
The Beginning of the End: Williams and Capcom
We join Python after the surprise smash hit, Bride of Pinbot. Up to that point, Python’s most risque pinball design. Well guess what? Yes, this is the one with Pinball Sex. Honestly, a lot of pinball sex. If 13 year olds could hide blogs under their bed’s… well, let’s just say Zingy Bingy probably wouldn’t be their first choice, but it might be an option. Just an FYI, sex ahead. OK back to Joe - editor
Hurricane: Butts in a tower
The drive for the next game was ever present. Python paired with Barry Oursler to close out their unofficial “amusement park trilogy,” Hurricane. Some would say this game was plagued by many trilogy 3rds: too much of a good thing. The game featured MORE terrifying clown imagery, TWO Farris wheels, a BIGGER motorized spinning wheel on the backglass, a multi-ball feature, a DMD screen instead of alphanumeric display, and two gigantic, swirling plastic ramps that took the ball all the way from the back of the game, past the flippers, into an inlane.
Python worked solely on the playfield art while John Youssi painted the backglass. Typical Python style: hundreds of teeming patrons, including cowboys, Rastas, punks, jesters, wizards, robots, coneheads, and even an artist painting the portrait of a nude woman. Yes, that even meant naked ladies in a tower and a bare butt! Once again, the public responded favorably to butts and Hurricane sold 4,400 units.
Fish Tales: Billy Bass before his time
Python was only mildly involved with the design and concept of Fish Tales. Being an avid fisherman, the theme was very close to Python’s heart, so he drew preliminary sketches of the playfield and backglass for Mark Ritchie. Python’s backglass sketch, while amusing, featured a bare-breasted mermaid being carried off by a proud fisherman, which is probably a major reason why it was rejected.
The duty of lead artist was passed on to Pat McMahon, who was responsible for creating the entire final art package of Fish Tales. Most of Python’s design elements on the playfield were rejected by Mark Ritchie. The only things that really survived from Python’s original concept sketches were the lower jaws of two fish at the bottom of the playfield under the flippers.
Well, that and the backbox topper, which consisted of a plastic fish originally intended to turn its head and speak to the player. However, the final build of the fish topper only had a mechanized tail which would flap loudly whenever a jackpot was achieved. Python felt that his idea for the moving and talking fish topper was completely ripped off five years later when the singing Big Mouth Billy Bass became a hundred-million-dollar business in 1998. Williams sold a whopping 13,640 units of Fish Tales.
Madonna: The strange, horny pinball that never was
At some point in 1993 Python drafted a few preliminary sketches and a gameplay outline for a proposed Madonna themed pinball machine titled In Concert. The playfield featured 3 crisscrossing ramps that returned the ball to the opposite inlane, with a central microphone ramp that had a Madonna figurine sitting on it.
Another version of the playfied had a standing Madonna figurine in place of a ramp, which stood on a rotating platform of stand-up targets. Judging from the unconventional 4 inlanes and 2 outlanes, it could have possibly been a widebody design. The backglass artwork would feature a unique mechanic which implemented a series of four rotating slats made of equilateral triangles which rotated in unison to form 3 distinct original backglass images.
Python suggested that Madonna appear as 5 different personas: “Like a Virgin”, “Material Girl”, “Mutant”, “Movie Star” and “Girlfriend or Wife.” The proposed imagery for Madonna’s personal driver were “Mountain gorilla silver back”, “Unicorn Headed Adonis” and “Billy Ray Cyrus Muscle Man.”
Amongst the list of locations where Madonna would perform are “Concert Hall”, “Movie Studio-Hollywood”, “Stadium Game-National Anthem”, “Modelling Session”, “Hotel/Airport”, “Paris Power Shopping Trip”, “Dinner”, “Bed” and most interestingly, “Hell”. According to James Loflin, a collector and close friend of Python, Madonna’s management outright rejected the proposal and destroyed the original copies of Python’s work.
Popeye: They can’t all be bangers
For Python and Barry Oursler’s tenth and final collaboration, they agreed to try another licensed property. Python personally loved the Popeye comic strip from his childhood and begged Roger Sharpe to acquire the property rights from King Features. This game would also be produced under the Bally name and was the last of the highly successful “Superpin” line of games produced by WMS Inc. from 1993 to 1994.
As happy as Python was to have access to the Popeye license, he felt that the status quo simply wasn’t good enough. That the world of Popeye was too small and the character itself was too outdated and irrelevant for the modern sensibilities of the 1990s. So Python proposed to give this classic nautical cartoon character a fresh new relevancy with an environmentalist twist! What eventually became Python’s treatment for the premise of Popeye Saves the Earth was so incredibly bizarre and outlandish that it simply boggles the mind that such a thing even exists. Are you ready? Well buckle up!
In the opening preface, Python acknowledges that it “Became very obvious to me that Popeye the Sailor has not kept up with the times.” Adding that he was excited to take Popeye “into the 20th century and beyond”. Already that should have started to raise some eyebrows at Williams.
Python goes on to describe the current-day setting of the story. A middle-aged Popeye is living comfortably on his island apparently subsidized by some sort of Spinach company endorsements as well as residual cheques from his former life as cartoon star. Popeye is in a state of boredom, sitting at home, languidly watching other cartoons on TV such as The Simpsons, re-runs of The Flintstones and Mickey Mouse (it’s starting to get kinda meta!). His partner, Olive Oyl is out on the beach, idly collecting seashells. Swee'Pea who is nearly 30 years old by now has a Masters Degree in Marine Biology and is a retired Navy pilot. Unemployed, Swee'Pea spends his days reading books about astrophysics. But don’t worry, folks, Wimpy is still a broke-ass degenerate mooching cash from everyone to satisfy his hamburger addiction.
INSERT JOE TELLING US THE WHOLE INSANE STORY OF POPEYE THAT I’M MOVING HERE.
But that was an actual summary of the actual concept for an actual pinball machine that Python actually pulled out of his deranged mind. In addition to this treatment for a game, he actually wrote a full 61 page shooting script for a Popeye cartoon titled “Apopeyelypse Now” which is loosely based on this premise. It was never developed.
In interviews, Python said he feared that if he pushed to get the cartoon made, agents from the international oil companies would be so pissed off by its environmentalist message that they might retaliate against him by ruining his career, or even having him killed. That time old tale. Big corporations striking down a pinball artist to keep big oil alive.
Nevertheless, as crazy and unusual as Python’s epic premise for his Popeye pinball game was, somehow, he was able to persuade the management to get the game made roughly according to his vision.
Barry Oursler remarked in his TOPcast interview that “The management loved Python. I mean, he could do no wrong with them. If he said he wanted to do somethin’, they would let him do it… most of the time he was right!”
I’m not going to go into the design process of Popeye Saves the Earth because the game sucks and no one except for former PAPA world Champion, Robert Gagno enjoys playing it. Popeye Saves the Earth sold over 4,200 units, mostly to the overseas market. It was a decent success which was positive, considering the very real possibility of it being a massive flop. Little did Python know, it would be his final game at Williams.
Pinball Circus: The Wheels start to come off
In early 1994, Python approached Williams management with something he earnestly believed would save the dwindling pinball industry... The game was called The Pinball Circus and it incorporated a multi-tiered set of vertically staggered playfields which each had unique objectives and mechanical action. The footprint of this pinball cabinet would be roughly the same as a typical video game cabinet.
The player’s objective was to make shots in order to ascend each new “Ring” in the circus, that is until the ball is carried to the very top by a mechanical giraffe. Once on the final level, the player would battle against Flippy the Clown and smash his drop target teeth then shoot into his mouth to score a jackpot. That is where the game essentially ended as far as preliminary code was concerned.
It should be noted that Python remained entirely convinced that his Pinball Circus upright cabinet style was where the future of pinball should have gone. He claimed although it added an additional $300 to the overall build of materials, it earned 3 to 4 times as much as a regular pinball in test locations.
But Williams management didn’t believe the return on investment would be enough to justify the costs of making the tooling for the specific ramps and mechs that were required for one game. Python claimed that Pinball Circus was ultimately rejected by "Larry DeMarr, Pat Lawlor, and Steve Kordek... because they wanted to stay in the comfort zone."
When Williams decided not to produce it, Python finally dipped out of Williams for good.
Capcom: The Wilderness Years
After Python left, he warned his colleagues that if they didn’t move pinball forward and embrace innovative ideas, then the Williams’ pinball division would collapse by 1998. His prediction was only off by one year.
In late 1994, Python claimed he agreed to take a $190,000 pay cut from his Williams salary in order to begin work at Capcom’s newly established Pinball division as their Creative Director.
Pinball Magic: Python gets paranoid
Python developed the initial game design and layout for Pinball Magic with Bryan Hanson and Bill Parker; this game would eventually become the launch title for Capcom’s new pinball enterprise. Python became incredibly paranoid and claimed that their competition "Williams had a P.I. they were spying on Capcom. And the guy was dumpster diving, with taking our shredded shit, putting it back together. And also (we) had a mole, Jim Strompolis, he got paid 2.5 million dollars."
Python was absolutely outraged when it was leaked that John Popadiuk at Williams was also designing a Magic themed pinball machine to rival Capcom’s Pinball Magic. "If somebody told me, "Listen, our competition we found out are doing a game with this theme. Do it." Do you know what I'd do to him? I'd turn the desk upside down, spit in their faces, turn around, pull my pants down and shit on their chest!" Python would brag that "(Popadiuk) is a chameleon, a lizard. And Python knows it, because Python is the King of Snakes! I don't slither in the grass and I eat Popadiuks for breakfast."
Python helped assemble new pinball design teams for Capcom, which were all formed from other ex-Williams employees over the next year.
Flipper Football: Like Doggy Soccer but people yell “fuck” and “shit” in it
In 1996, although Capcom’s next game, Big Bang Bar was ready for production, Python lobbied hard for his own game, Flipper Football to be released ahead of it, in order to capitalize on the European market.
Flipper Football had been programmed with a "Foul Language" operator adjustment available, which enabled animations of soccer players on the DMD to moon the player, players beating up the referee and various characters yelling “Kick the fucking ball!” and screaming “Shit!” with some random farts and burps thrown in the mix. Also, the playfield and cabinet art was predominantly green to match the soccer pitch, but green was notorious in the pinball industry for being an unappealing colour to pinball players.
Flipper Football was an unmitigated commercial disaster. Capcom was convinced by Python’s team to eschew the typical prototyping phase and went straight from whitewood into a production game despite miserable coin box takes at test locations. It would cost the company millions more in replacement parts which failed on location, especially the three dimensional soccer ball on the upper right corner of the backbox which patrons often demolished by turning it into a punching bag. Python’s big comeback game at Capcom was cut off at just under a thousand units produced.
Zingy Bingy: Yes, the Sex Game
Here it is. Feels sorta underwhelming. Hey! Just like REAL sex!
What Python came up with next would be the most outrageous, peculiar, incredibly misguided and inappropriate concept for a commercial pinball game ever devised! Its name was Zingy Bingy. The term “Zingy Bingy” was Python’s personal version of what we would call YOLO. Its name is now the stuff of legend in the pinball world.
Python conceived of a two-player game for couples way back in 1985 while working for Williams. Zingy Bingy consisted of two fully naked bodies on the playfield, one male and one female, reminiscent of Adam and Eve, facing each other with a snake and large red apple lighting insert between them. At the woman’s crotch was a drop target in front of a kick-out saucer where her vagina would be. A bank of spot targets along the wall that hugged the curvature of her butt. Most notably, her breasts were a pair of jet bumpers with plastic molded circular caps with nipples that would bounce when activated. Python mentioned that a bra covering for the jet bumpers would be an option for family fun centre operations to use.
I don’t know what I’m looking at. So yes, again, that tracks with actual sex.
For the male side of the playfield, over the man’s penis was a large flipper (which was originally designed to be extendable) and just below that, a two-ball physical locking mechanism. The glaringly obvious goal of the game was to get the balls from the male side via the extendable flipper past the drop target “panties” and score by shooting the ball into the kick-out saucer.
Other body parts on the playfield could be activated by either the male or female flipper buttons, such as flippers at Adam and Eve’s big toes at the bottom in standard pinball placement, as well as the woman’s left hand on the man’s shoulder was an upper flipper.
The faces of both characters were intended to electronically change expression from anger to arousal depending on how well the game was going. The backbox revealed naked figures that lit up and animated in various sexually suggestive positions.
Python defended accusations that his game was sexist and misogynist "Absolutely the women loved it! It was character assassinated! It was not a pornographic game!" claiming it was designed for young couples to interact with each other in a new way. Python said "It was a riot to play." And claimed "They took polls of 138 women and it was approved unanimously!" Python believed that "Every game in the world is a sexual game. Sexual, not vulgar, not pornographic."
It cost Capcom $25,000 to create the two Zingy Bingy prototype games which Python had developed without management’s approval.
Zingy Bingy wasn’t the only name Python played with when it came to his pinball sex magnum opus. Here are some other options he wrote that will haunt you forever. (I still can’t get Sucky Wucky out of my head)
Alternate names for Zingy Bingy
Butt Blaster, Rump Ranger, Come and Go, Sucky Wucky, Balls of Fire, Flipper Fuckball, Licky Dicky, Blow Me, Butt Pirate, Trickey Dickey and most imaginatively, Fuck Off.
Equally Gross Gameplay Features
Double Boner, Super Jack-Off, Jag-Off Mode… and PMS Mode. Wow, Python. Great job.
Mark Ritchie, who was at the time Capcom’s director of engineering, stated “I thought it was kinda hard-edged. And I thought, you know, it’s one thing to be- you want to be controversial, that’s great, that’s cool. I just thought it was just kind of- kind of tacky to be honest.” He added “I couldn’t see that thing going anywhere, frankly.”
Mark Ritchie was right.
Great, it's another game where I can’t look people in the eye after I get done playing it. It’s this and Toy Story 4.
Python presented Zingy Bingy to then president of Capcom, Kenzo Tsujimoto who was in Chicago, touring their American pinball facilities. Tsujimoto reportedly walked into the boardroom with his entourage, took one look at Python’s prototype, shook his head in disbelief and made an about face and walked right out without saying a single word.
About 3 weeks later, Python, Mark Ritchie and all the pinball design leads were flown out to Japan, treated to an extravagant meal at a very high-end French restaurant and then were subsequently told that Capcom’s pinball division would be eliminated. To Python, it was yet another betrayal "Capcom bullshitted me... and Mark Ritchie and Rene Lopez." Python was terminated from Capcom’s pinball division on December 9th, 1996.
Python would look back on the failure of Zingy Bingy with no regrets “Honestly don’t be afraid of sexuality. Don’t be ashamed of being angry. Don’t be ashamed of wanting to kill somebody.”
All things that may be true, but that don’t necessarily mix well with pinball.
