Scammin’ Pinball Scammers: Danny Pinballs’ quest to waste everyone’s time.

Did you know there are secret pinball heroes that walk among us? They’re not super powered in the traditional sense, but basically they’re just rad fucking people. The greatest of these? A character named Danny Pinballs. At least that’s what they want us to call them. Heroes have secret identities, but I can say this: this is def not me, so plz don’t hack my site. I’m sure it’s super easy. Like imagine the most rusted gate lock of all time next to a pile of dog turds, that’s basically our cybersecurity (shout out squarespace).

Who is Danny Pinballs?

Danny Pinballs is a masked vigilante who surfs social media looking for pinball scammers. You know the people we’re talking about, they call you “bro” a lot and have The Shadow “on sale” for 3,000 but you gotta put half up front before you can pick it up. And, like, you totally know it’s a scam but it’s juuuuuust reasonable enough that you have to be shaken to your senses. Those kinda scammers. Those kind of scammers suck. All scammers suck.

So what does Danny fuckin’ Pinball do? He rings their scrawny lil’ necks ‘till justice drips out. Metaphorically. Basically, he just wastes their time by coming up with ridiculous scenarios that are juuuuuuuust outside the realm of plausibility. What do we mean? Well, let’s just look at an example. Here’s Danny Pinballs chumming the scammer waters, buying a “special gift” for his “son”. As you’ll soon see, Pinballs is a master at the subtle art of the tease.

A classic open to a scammer. It’s a birthday present, this guy doesn’t know anything about pinball. Hell, he named his kid Grandon. I like how this scammer just kinda drops a thumbs up in there.

I mean Bidemin or Trumperino feels pretty inspired.

If I’d invested in Bintcoin and Furry NFTs, I’d be chilling on my own island, hiring a goon squad to take out Iggy instead of writing to you frickin’ yutzes. C’est la vie. For Danny Pinballs? I mean, just a master at work here. I loved the inclusion of the loading bar for bintcoin. All the best cryptos have a dope load screen.

So beware, N’er do wells

You might have gotten away with your lil’ scams before, but that was before Donny Pinballs blew into town — sorry, Danny Pinballs. He’s gonna clean this town up one fake account at a time. No, we don’t believe that you have the Cactus Canyon remake for 5k, and no, there’s nowhere else for you to hide. Danny Pinballs is coming. Danny Pinballs is coming.

For real, we’ve got even more scamming pinball scammers stuff already in the can. This guy is a prolific goofball. K see y’all, bye.