Good But Not Great: The Melancholy Existence of the 200 - 600 Million Player

I’m a good pinball player. I’m not a great pinball player. I’m not Escher or Bowen. I’m not Kassidy. Hell, I’m probably not the best player in my town. For a long time that was this guy who I only knew by his initials. ZIM. He’d wrack up insane scores on the local Stranger Things in Town. Doing stuff like having 110 shot combos. Insanity. I even wrote an article that featured him for our local alt-weekly. He was just this unknown force absolutely destroying pinball machines in my life the first year I moved back to my hometown. I wanted to be him. It still hasn’t happened. 

These days, the best player in our town is prob this guy named Adam or another goof named JP. The worst part? I know them, AND they’re lovely. Like they’ll beat the absolute shit outta me on Deadpool and then be like, “Hey man, good job! Maybe try this next time?” and then they’ll like to dap me up or some shit. Good sportsmanship? BARF.

But I’m good enough. When casuals walk up, they say, “Hey, that guy seems pretty good.” And in that moment, I am. I am good. But I’m not always good. In fact, sometimes I’m shitty. Or worse, I’m playing good – but still not getting where I want to be. Like I’m chasing ghosts. My inner monologue is just going OFF, “Oh, you’re struggling to hit the billy on Rush? You know that Dalton hit 5 by ball 2 without even breaking a sweat on stream last night? Yeah, and he lives in ALABAMA, known in many circles as the sweatiest state.”  

Get your mind right. 

Well, I start to feel like shit. And that’s not why we got into pinball, right? We got into it to avoid real life and strip focus and ball out and have a fun as fuck time doing it. Maybe slam some diet cokes and a cart you smuggled into the mall. So what we AREN’T gonna do is continue to fume and be a little baby about it. Instead, take a second and get calm. 

I’m not saying this is easy. I’m a notorious hothead. Ask anyone who got into a discussion with me from 2005-2013. Not an easy hang. But one thing that’s come with age, besides back, neck, and shoulder problems, is the ability to kinda get outside myself and focus on what’s important. We’re all gonna be dead soon, so ultimately — whatever. Try and take the joy you’re given in life. Live, laugh, love, bitch.

So how do we live and laugh in pinball? Well, in pinball, nothing is more important than the ball. The ball is everything. When you can put it where you want, the game rewards you – when you can control the ball, it’s easier to put it where you want. God damn, that sounds simple – but it’s not. 

You must empty your mind and focus on tracking the ball to do that. Like only that. Follow the ball understand where it’s going based on where it’s been. Don’t think about how you got screwed by a bad bounce. Don’t think about anything. Just do that. Bad bounces happen to the best players in the world. Even Keith Elwin drains, you know? But what the best don’t do is let that shitty frustrating experience sully the next ball. Nope, it’s back to business as usual. And so it is for you. Back to the biz and you’ll LIKE IT, you little freak.

You’re still getting better… probably.

Look, dude, you’re at the arcade. You’re putting in work. You’re getting better. I mean, shit, last week you put up a billy on Jaws. That’s great! Keep up the good work. Like every ball makes you a little smarter, you understand the layout a little better. Fuck yeah. Pretty soon, you’re gonna be making it through your first mini-wizard mode. By the end of the next week, you’ll be able to get to two more. In a month? Who the fuck knows? Maybe you’ll be the best fuckin’ pinball player we’ve ever seen. 

Who cares? 

Or not! Who cares? You don’t play pinball to put your name on the high score list; you do it because it’s fun and maybe a replacement for more traditional therapy types. Good on you, but also? Go to therapy. Just trust us on this one, especially if you’re thinking this hard about your pinball game. Pinball is everything, but it ain’t the only thing. 

Remember that, and you should be just fine. See you at the arcade!