Are Pinball Mechs Overrated?
OK, OK, settle down. But can we at least ask the question?
Whenever a new machine comes out, there’s always one topic that ripples across the various forms of pinball media: do the mechs justify the price? The most recent whipping boy has been American Pinball’s Galactic Tank Force. It seems as though folks don’t really dig the 3D-printedness of the alien galactic tank. Me personally? I think that game is fun as hell.
Recently, I had a text exchange with a LITT (I still shudder writing that, but whatevs) employee and we both came to the same conclusion: contrary to what we’ve been hearing from Pinball Media™ GTF is fun. The shots are cool, vintage NORDMAN. The theme? Sure it’s campy in some weird ways, but what the hell pinball theme isn’t? In fact, I’d argue the thing that it’s getting raked over the coals for isn’t actually that important.
Mechs are overrated. Yeah, I said it.
Let’s define what we mean by a pinball mech
Look, I get it – most things on a modern pinball machine could be considered a “mech.” Here’s what I don’t mean: slings, bumpers, roll overs – you know, the normal shit in a machine. What I’m talking about are mechs specifically made for that game.
You know, the magnetic glove on Johnny Mnemonic or the vertical playfield on Mando. Mechs are stuff that they fill a premium with and then Kaneda or Cary Hardy or Zach Meny or Buffalo Pinball or Pinball Party or Triple Drain or Nudge or Some Other Intense White Dude does breakdowns about how good the mechs are or how bad the mechs are or how crazy the mechs are or how broken the mechs are.
Most Pros are more fun to shoot than Premiums
Pinball design is better now than it’s ever been. Foo Fighters proves that Stern has another generation of absolute stud designers in-house. If you don’t think Keith Elwin and Jack Danger are gonna be the two biggest sellers in the next decade, I’d like to hear who you think will be. Part of that genius? They make pros that play fun as hell.
In fact, it's a dirty lil secret that most pros shoot better than premiums. sometimes it's not even a secret. It’s a pretty common opinion that Black Knight Sword of Rage shoots better as a pro, but I’d argue that almost every game is better as a pro. Think about the last few releases. Sure, the diverters in Godzilla’s tower are dope and the tummy catch on Mecha Godzilla is, uh, interesting – but do they add that much? The fucko writing this sentence argues NO.
When was the last time a mech absolutely blew your hair back?
In fact, most mechs are sorta designed to do one thing, and that one thing is almost always underwhelming. It’s not the mech’s fault! Our expectations are so high. Most are great in theory, but sort of lackluster in actuality. The projector screen on Stranger Things, the catapult on Black Knight? I’m good. Yes, the T-Rex in Jurassic Park is incredible – that’s a game that really integrates mech’s well. I concede it. It’s one of the exceptions to the rule.
Point being, it’s not usually the mechs that make or break your playing experience. These days, a pinball team has more options than ever before. Raymond Davidson killing it on code for Stern, Mike Vinikour creating rules and programming expression writing – these are things that didn’t exist even fifteen years ago.
Light, sound, shots, and gameplay – that’s what makes or breaks a game to me. Do I care about a cool mech? In some ways I’m a hypocrite because my dream game is The Shadow – a title PACKED FULL of dirty, dirty mechs. But again, I’m gonna say it’s the exception to the rule, I’m allowed to do that. As a hypocrite.
Mechs break a lot
The first thing that people tell me whenever I say I want a Shadow is always, “I hope you like fixing stuff.” Because The Shadow has mechs everywhere, a dope upper playfield controlled by an opto, several diverters, and a magnetic ball lock. Those things inevitably break down, fuck up the playfield, and make its owners miserable.
Sure, those owners SAY they like fixing games even more than they like playing them, but whenever I hear that – well, doesn’t it sound like a mental illness? You like replacing optos more than ripping loop combos? Psh. No thank you, sir.
In the end, mechs are here to stay
Look, I get it. This opinion is probably going to be in the minority, especially with people who want pinball in the home. The new Godfather machine is so damned blinged out, there’s a version with literal gold legs. Don’t get me wrong, I want gold legs. More games should have gold legs – for real. Gimme the gold.
But for the average gamer, some poor bastard just hustling one or two pros in their living room? Well, to that person – we salute you. Play the hell outta that pro. To the person playing a dirty old Guardians at the laundromat? You’re having the time of your life, and ain’t no premium-having blueblood is gonna tell you different. Hell yeah. I don’t know how to end this, but it feels like it’s building to something, so I guess I’ll leave you with this: mechs are cool, but don’t pretend that they make the game. They’re icing. Nice as a complimentary piece, gross when it’s the focus of the whole thing. Dig?
