Love and the Arcade Part II: THE FLIRTENING
What’s an acceptable level of pinball flirt?
No, it’s not the early stages of a UTI, that burning you’re feeling is good old-fashioned YEARNING for PART II of Love and the Arcade, our ongoing series where we talked to REAL LIVE WOMEN about wtf is even the state of pinball romance right now?
Is it just like that effervescent rom-com, The Man Who Saved Pinball? Or is it more like a VH1 Flava Flav vehicle from 2006? For most, it seems like it’s somewhere inbetween. Either that, or I seriously need to start growing out my Roger Sharp mustache or risk dying alone; my desiccated corpse found curled up between a Demo Man and a Bad Cats. ANYWHO let’s get into it.
Yes, we talked to real women. No we couldn’t believe they talked to us either.
Over the course of the next several weeks, we’ll be sharing their responses to our questions about love in the arcade. Can you find it? Are they looking? Who farted? There’s only one way to find the answers to these burning questions – and that is to just keep reading.
The Question: What is an acceptable level of flirt?
Flirting, everyone does it, but not everyone does it well. A good flirt is fun and light, while a bad flirt makes everyone feel gross. I mean, bad flirts can even trend into harassment if we’re being real, but let’s just say right now that this article isn’t about harassing people, DUH. Like, if someone doesn’t want you flirting or they’re obviously uncomfortable, that’s your cue to fuckin’ stop, numb nut.
That said, sometimes the line between fun and flirty and craven and desparate isn’t as readable as we’d hope. Take it from me, a guy who winks at people with BOTH EYES. So let’s get into it. What’s the most acceptable level of flirt at league night, at tournaments, and inbetween balls two and three. No, I’m not going to make a joke about balls two and three. You do the heavy lifting on that one, sicko.
As always, the editor’s response (me) will be in italics.
You know what? I’m good.
Some people don’t want the flirt. Like, very very very low level of flirt tolerance. One might say flirt averse. I get it. For the most part, pinball is a solitary experience for me. I don’t always like it when I see friends at the arcade either, just cuz I’m looking to zone out and play good. You feel me? Guess what? Some women are like that too.
I think an acceptable level of flirt is highly dependent on reciprocation. If you're traveling down Flirt Ave and it's a one way street, it may be time to make a turn.
Beep! Beep!
I genuinely hate being flirted with, so I don't know if I'm the best candidate for this question. I really respect the guys that ask straight up if you're single and open for conversation. If they're straightforward about their intentions it's easier for everyone to just go about their night. Other than that, someone coming up and just trying to have small talk makes me literally want to vomit
That’s funny, because vomit makes me want to small talk! Different strokes!
No idea, I don’t use Flirt™. Maybe look for signs that the target of your attention actually enjoys you and escalate slowly? Steady eye contact is a good start. Don’t mistake nervous laughter for real laughter. Unfortunately it can’t go without saying, DON’T TOUCH anyone, or the pinball machine they are playing, to get their attention.
Arrested Development voice: NO TOUCHING. Also, where’s the arrested development homebrew? ‘I’ve made a terrible mistake’ multiball. Her?
If you ever, EVER approach ANYONE while they’re playing a game to pontificate loudly over their shoulder, kill yourself. Nothing is more of a turn-off. Oh and don’t get all preachy. It’s a fine fine line. They don’t seem interested in chatting? Stop bothering them. Period. You shot your shot, and the ball’s in their court now.
*terrified salute*
I hate when I’m at the arcade, I’m mid ball and some dude walks up, puts his crotch close to my flipper fingers and starts talking at me. Any acceptable level of flirt in the arcade or anywhere else can easily start with a little respect. Maybe wait until the ball is drained before speaking so I don’t lose my concentration and don’t stand right on top of me. Also tell me my flipper skills are sick and you’ll get my attention.
“Sick flippers” is how my parents said they met, so I get it.
In the pinball community I would say follow the woman’s lead. If she’s not flirting with you, she didn’t come to pinball to flirt.
Word up.
Just don’t be weird please. No touching
I’m not gonna write about this one other than to say, no duh stop TOUCHING PEOPLE. And stop smelling hair. Well, you can smell my hair. It’s open season over here. But I just changed shampoos and now it’s kraft mac and cheese flavor, so fair warning. Yes, I’ve been eating a lot of shampoo. No, I don’t want to talk about it.
Read the room. what blows is when you’ve been hit on so goddamn much that you don’t know if someone is just being nice or trying to get into your pants. this is a small community, fuckbois are annoying, and I don’t want to have to deal with them creating drama. keep it in your pants. I dunno, maybe some flirting is fine, but please don’t be a pervert and don’t fucking touch me.
I think this is something men and women can both agree on. Fuckbois are definitely annoying. Remember those ones from two years ago with the poofy hair in front? That was a hilarious time to be alive.
Don't be annoying. Ask if you want to play pinball with them...don't be aggressive, don't touch anyone, and just read the room. They'll more than likely make it clear if they want you to stick around or not.
Read the room, or at least try to spell it out. I mean, geez guy.
An acceptable level of flirt would be for a person to ask low level questions to show curiosity without coming off as a knowitall or condescending. Also offering to play a game together is cute imo!
It IS cute. Unless that game is Bonebusters, because then you’re a couple of absolute sociopaths.
Only bust out the rizz if you’ve been vibing for a little while, in my opinion. If you’re busting out the rizz out the gate that’s a no from me. But I tend to prefer some lead up time, so I’m sure it’s different for everybody.
Need a nice runway for the rizz jet to get off the ground. Otherwise, we’re lookin’ at a rizz-catastrophe of epic proportions.
Just keep it respectful! If you're interested in someone in your pinball community then you're already in a perfect position to start out as friends first and see if anything clicks from there. Just don't be weird if it's a "no"! It definitely takes a certain level of maturity to navigate that route though.
Maturity? Say less, fam! We got the Zaddy Rizz Kings of the Ohio Skibidy. (trails off into nonsense syllables)
Most pinball takes place in arcades and bars. People are under the influence sometimes and have a bit of liquid courage. I think a little bit of flirting is fine. I haven’t really met any hardcore flirts at pinball haha.
True. It’s hard to flirt when you’re mostly concerned with crushing your opponent on Orbitor 1.
You’ve got some Mansplainin’ to (not) do!
Another word that came up a lot. Mansplaining. Is it a buzzword? Most definitely. Is it also something we do a lot? Oh yeah. So guess what? Stop explaining rulesets. I gotta little secret: DUDES DO NOT LIKE THIS EITHER. There’s nothing I regret more than asking someone for some rules advice as soon as they’re in their tenth minute of telling me the minutiae about how to trigger bonus multipliers.
Be respectful and funny, never mansplain
Mansplaining is def annoying. Bring back Mansistential crisising instead. That ennui gonna make you mysterious af.
Being confident and direct. Tell me “nice score” and just sit back and admire. In stead of talking to me while I’m actively playing. Wait till my ball is over with, before trying for a full conversation.
Yeah, this is a very good point. Don’t talk while people are playing. Ask my friend Josh, I can’t help myself. it’s maybe my most toxic quality, and that’s really saying something.
I’d say an acceptable level of flirting is playing some games together, small talk, joking around, buying drinks for each other, etc. PLEASE NO MANSPLANING. Unless we ask for help or advice on a machine, do not give it to us.
Got it. No advice.
Nothing that veers toward the “let me show you how it’s done territory.” Flirting in the form of “let me teach you the rules.” Forget about it. compliment my slap saves and nudging skills and ask me the rules … A++
See? It’s all about the Nudge. What I’ve been saying as an extremely single person for the last three years. Just screaming it, NUDGE NUDGE NUDGE.
Medium-Flirt with a side of Buffalo Sauce Plz
Most of these responses were varying levels of cute. These people haven’t had the light of love snuffed from their eyes just yet like the rest of us hardcore cynics. For these folks it’s important to get to know a person before ya start your freakish courtship rituals.
I think being kind and friendly is great. Learn to read body language, and back off and give space if someone appears uncomfortable. Appropriate compliments are nice, and maybe asking if someone would like to play a game with you. However if they say no thank you, don’t guilt or pressure them into sharing a game with you. Ask for the machine when they are finished!
This is great advice. And also a win-win. The worst that could happen is you get to play Pulp Fiction by yourself. I love getting to play Pulp Fiction by myself.
Winks and nudges only. Jk. Depends on your intentions, but if you’re digging on someone and looking for a love match, ask them out - preferably somewhere you aren’t regulars. You need to assess whether you vibe out in the wild, sober, and away from the booze-and-weed-fueled neon hedonism.
Neon hedonism might be the name of the Nudge arcade someday.
If yr just lookin’ to bone, well, flirt to your heart’s content. The way to find out if it’s working is to do something so perverse, so unheard of in modern dating…simply ask if they are interested. Communication and consent is, like, so sexy. Also, no means no. Don’t be a fucking creep (you know who you are)
Boy, they covered all the bases here. Truly speechless
My personal version of flirting at the arcade is picking a machine next to an attractive person and putting on a show for them. This has had a zero percent success rate
Sometimes it can be so real that it hurts to recognize the self in others. This one smarts.
Keep it casual. Talk about code updates, game strat, upcoming tournies, ask what I'm listening to, maybe im wearing a pin, patch or band tee...ask about it. Same rules for asking anyone on a date. Show interest, keep convo going, etc
Keep the convo going. This might mean that you invest in a John’s Bathroom Reader and start learning some facts… or it might just mean listening to somebody. Either way!
That sweet spot of playing a competitive 2 person game where it’s part gassing up and part roast-mode makes any pinball night out a little extra fun. I think the trick in this specific situation is the flirtings gotta come from someone you already know.
Agreed. A good roast to flirt ratio is extremely important.
Look, I’m gonna flirt right back, you cheeky little monkey
These range from sweet to spicy, tho one thing they all had in common: the pinball comes first. What’d you sexpect? These are Nudge readers, you goofenbacher.
Compliments, buying a drink, light teasing, playing pinball together, and doing split flip to be closer together 😘
Congrats! I think this is the first time we’ve had an emoji in a Nudge article. Put a fork in the English language.
This is so dependent on how attracted I am to you and how much I trust you to not be dumb. Flirting is a two way street so don’t force it. But I love a good harmless flirt, it can be great fun.
Dumb? BRB! Me go make brain pushups!
The level where we can chat but you do not expect me to turn away from the machine <3 I have goals <3 thanks <3
Welcome!
Pinball is active and bendy just like pool is. it’s fun to watch someone play and be attracted to that. asking to play a game together is a very clear and appropriate flirt.
This is actually a cool way to think about it. The sensual dance of pinball, which always ends in someone saying GODDAMNIT THESE FUCKING SLINGS.
Did we learn anything? Do we ever? All is fair in love and war, but try and keep your hands off people or you might just lose a finger. K see you later byeeeee.
