Confession of an ex-rage tilter
By Ben Granger
The pole vault. the coffin drop, the lockbar/elbow smash – rage tilting is greasy business. Like most bad habits though, It’s surprisingly easy to justify smacking the glass like a little punk when you know the performance did not live up to the skills or standards you’re capable of. The thing is: literally nobody gives a shit. You’re objectively acting like a toddler, and it’s a really stupid look no matter how you twist that kaleidoscope.
And just like eating a sleeve or two of Girl Scout thin mints, the catharsis is quickly replaced by shame, self-loathing, and embarrassment. Why? You’ve got chocolate on your face, dummy. Look, I get it. I’ve been there. I have a confession: I used to be a rage tilter.
If you’re not embarrassed to be a rage tilter, well, you really should be. But before I go full Roman Catholic, not all sins are created equally. We’re working on a spectrum here, legal gray areas. As an Ex-rage tilter I’m familiar with all of them – even the dark arts. Here’s a quick look at the many ways to get handsy with a pin.
Wholesome maneuvers: just good, clean physical interactivity, lauded by Saint and sinner alike.
The nudge
This one needs no deep explanation. Generally a simple up-down push or bump, either to get the ball out of danger zones (outlane), or into where you want (skill shot, rollovers, ski-jumping over flippers, dead flips, etc). Masters of this make it look easy. Learn it, love it. Use it.
Wicked shimmy
This is when you shake the game side to side rapidly to rattle the ball up and out of the outlane back into safety. This move is also effective to change the path or direction of the ball slightly when headed for the drain. (As a side note, I first saw this maneuver done by MN pinball legend, Paul Madison on a Bally Strikes and Spares with a fairly tight tilt. The ball was a solid two inches down the outlane already. That’s smooth, round steel on wood and wire, moonwalking up and over to the inlane. Insane.)
Slap save
A slap save is a hard slap on one side of the cabinet that will move the machine just enough to get a little piece of a near center-draining ball and tip it to the other flipper a split second later. The pinball version of a drummer’s flam. When performed with vigor, the bouncer may yell. (Editor’s note: Ben is real good at these)
Lock bar or cabinet slapping:
On a game with a tight tilt, you can change the direction or momentum of the ball slightly by hitting the lock bar or sides of the cabinet. Simple, intuitive, totally legal.
Questionable, faux pas, or even banned under certain social or competitive circumstances
These moves are generally acceptable and common to see at most pinball-centric locations – or your homie's basement. (Not you, collector who keeps the play count under 300 intentionally. We get it. You’re keeping your HUO POTC CE mint.)
Slide save
An intense move that is most useful when playing that clapped-out dive bar machine where the tilt bob fell off years ago (was it never installed?), slide that puppy 6 inches to the left or right to bail you out of a center drain. Not even a single danger. Smooth.
Death save
Look, depending on tilt settings, you can usually perform a death save with zero to two tilt warnings on a modern game. When a ball is draining down the right outlane, slide the game up and to the right just as it contacts the trough or left apron wall. It’ll pop up to the right flipper. The first time you do this in front of a civilian, you will absolutely blow their mind.
Bang back
The even sexier cousin of the death save, the bang back can be performed from either side on an outlane drain. As the ball passes under the flipper toward the drain, hold up the flipper and smack the front of the machine above the coin door. The ball will pop out of the drain and onto the opposite flipper. You will probably hurt yourself learning this. Focus your Chi. Bow to your sensei. Be the machine.
Moves that put you at the top of the arcade tech’s hit list.
(We absolutely DO NOT condone)
Any of those moves could get you yelled at, but they’re not objectively bad for the machine. But it can be, and this is where it gets sketchy— don’t try this at home, etc etc. This next list… well this is the true darkness.
Death save via leg kick
Have you ever seen a twisted up Stern leg and wondered what happens to these machines when you go home at night? Man, you can’t even imagine. This is a bad one. Kicking the leg gives that death save a snappier pop, but it can bend the shit out of it. Ruining it for everyone else. No bueno.
The Coffin drop
This is a pure rage maneuver. You finally drain that ten-minute ball and you reward the inanimate device with some Schwarzenegger-style payback, lifting the front of the cabinet up a foot and letting it slam to the floor. Yeah, I know. Lame. People actually do this.
The pole vault
The pole vault is the pinball version of a bar fight where two drunk bros are just shoving each other really hard. Except one bro doesn’t shove back, has 4 legs, and two of them are against the wall so all that kinetic energy has nowhere to go but up. Both front legs off the ground if the shove is really spicy. No, fuck you bro!
The classic rage tilt
I’ve taken some liberties with naming some of these “moves,” but there wasn’t a single descriptor for the act at the center of it all. Making damn sure the game tilts at all costs. Shoving, sliding, whatever, just need to see the TILT on screen for satisfaction.
What’s your style? Pick your poison and go with it
For me, I like some good rabid dog side-to-side action. Usually it starts with a wicked shimmy attempt and ends with the tilt bob rattling like the front end of a Town and Country. I’m the only person I know who has received a yellow card at every Pinburgh tournament I’ve played in. Turns out slapping the glass in the cathedral-esque halls of David Lawrence convention center is a little louder than it is in Mom’s basement. Pair it with obscenities resonating in the rafters and you’ve cemented your pinball image for everyone in earshot who cares to remember. And I know some champion tilters who think that should be worn like a badge of honor. But facts is facts: it’s a really, really bad look. No, I’ve never coffin-dropped a game or kicked a leg, but there’s levels to the shit.
In the end, nothing really matters – so don’t be a dick
Like that movie with the drunk pilot who lands the plane safely, most people will see the merit in an aggressive move that pays dividends in the form of extending ball time. That same aggression after draining tho? Tsk tsk. Passion for the game is great, but the temperance of one's behavior, or lack thereof, leaves a lasting impression far beyond any high score or shit performance. It’s also the difference between a seasoned tournament player or an old-school casual player and a hotheaded jabroni at the peak of the Dunning-Krueger bell curve. Gotta take the high scores and the power drains alike in stride. As long as your tilts are made with love, you won’t go wrong. Don’t descend into the dark side, nothing but sorrow and mid-tier WPPR dregs await you.
