Every year expo is an absolutely debauched experience. This year was no exception. For the first time ever, though, we had an anchor in the storm. We shared a booth with the freaks at Pinball Degenerates. And consequently? We got to meet y’all. And that was fun as hell. Side note: thank you to the people who gave us a literal mason jar full of marijuana. Y’all can keep doing that. We can be bought.

Thanks to everyone that bought a magazine or shirt. We appreciate it.

One thing we’ll never forget: watching Anna from Hot Nudge try to explain a POS card reader system for belles and chimes to a bunch of stoners who were NEVER going to understand a word of the extremely complicated system she wanted us to use. But this brings us to a good point: there are 8 million stories that happen at Expo. It would be impossible to try and sum everything up, and frankly, it would kill us if we tried. We just don’t have the constitution. Figuratively.

But what we CAN do is give you the vibe. And we can do it in just four games. Here’s Ian’s four games of Expo.

Game one: X-Men

Expo is about game releases, and especially Stern releases. This year wasn’t technically a release, but for the majority of people there, this was the first time playing Jack Danger’s X-Men. God damn it, is that game good.

I had already played one locally (I’m super lucky that LITT continues to grab LEs and Premiums at an absolutely insane rate), and yet every time I had a spare second I played X-men. For real. Like so many games. I played it by myself, I played it with pinfluencers. I played it with strangers who wanted me to shut up.

Is it actually that good? It is. The shots have to be nailed to be completed, and yet more often than not you can find yourself chaining together 4 and 5 shots, which is necessary because the bottom third of the playfield is total chaos.

Much has been made of the off-set flippers (Which allow for an absolutely insane mini-playfield on the lefthand side of the game, The Danger Room) but the real danger is in the pops, which create a ton of random caroms. Learning control of the left flipper inland is really something special. Instead of a straight line, it’s curved in a circle, occasionally leading to balls flipping back to the other flipper – if there’s incredible backspin or speed.

Anyway, it fucking rules and I played it a lot. Here are some notable games:

Vs Cale of Electric Bat

I spent a lot of Thursday with Cale and Rachel Bess of The Electric Bat. Those dudes are having a moment for sure. Rachel was a part of two standing-room only panels, and Cale is the dude who leads the party. For real, it’s exhausting. I could barely keep up and the whole time he kept saying, “This has to be in the article” to me.

Thursday night culminated in Cale challenging me to a dollar game. Guess who won? Yeah, it was your boy. Guess what made it in the article?

Vs Brad Albright, Zombie Yeti, and Johnny Crap

Saturday morning of expo I felt like absolute dog shit. I had been screaming all day to people in the hall and then smoking joints all night, which absolutely destroyed my voice box. It’s literally still just a charred bit of phlegm right now. It’s disgusting. I sound like RFK.

Anyway, I felt like shit, so I’m wearing sunglasses indoors and just sorta wandering around with a coffee before the hall opens, and all of these cool art dudes are hanging out next to X-men. Jeremy Packer (Zombie Yeti) was talking about radon levels to Johnny Crap, Derek Karamanian, and Brad Albright. Yeah, IDK either man.

On a whim, we banged out a three player game. Originally it was gonna be four, but Brad sorta wandered away in a daze. It might be a Texas thing. No one was really keeping track, but if we did let the record show that I won.

Vs a lot of Randos

I played so many games with strangers. All over the place. Some of them liked me, some of them definitely didn’t. Can’t win ‘em all. Shout out to that one dude I met who bought a Ninja Eclipse as his second game ever. That’s wild! Ninja Eclipse did look cool. It’s just crazy to have a two game lineup of John Wick and Ninja Eclipse. Like anything can happen in that game room. Down is up!

Game 2: Diamond Lady

The best part about expo for me is playing old and weird games that I don’t see otherwise. I’ve had several life changing experiences with fucked up games late at night on Saturday of Expo. In the past that’s included microdosing and playing orbitor 1, microdosing and playing Twister, and… well now Diamond Lady (no microdose, tho nearly illegal macrodoses of THC).

It started with Alan Robertson of Wedghead in Portland. Like I said, a big part of what makes Expo fun is that you see people you never would otherwise. I’ve never met Alan in IRL, but immediately dug his vibe. He was talking up this era of Gottliebs, as you’d expect someone who runs a fucking place called WEDGEHEAD to do. He was like, “have you ever played Diamond Lady?” And of course I fucking hadn’t.

I’m not gonna bury the lede. Alan was right. This game fucking rules. It’s basically just prepping two hurry up spinner rips with a shitload of drop targets, but it’s a really fun mix of new and old. In many ways, it plays like the previous generation of single level playfield games – but it also has a ramp and a ball lock. It also has an extremely Bond-60th-esque return off the left spinner rip. The ball trail is just cool.
Does it have the most heinous art package? Absolutely. It’s literally one woman posing awkwardly all over the playfield. Sorry, a lady. A DIAMOND lady. I probably played 15 games of this over the course of two days. Good call, dude.

Notable Games?

Vs Alan of Wedgehead

Dude is a good pinball player and a good person. I only really care about the first one, but hey you might like that he’s a good dude too! But for real, it was fun to get a walkthrough from a guy who genuinely seems to love this shit. What a freak. Just like the rest of us. He def won the first game, but I think I got one or two on him. By the end we were both hitting the ramp pretty frequently. Great intro to a game.

Vs Don and Don and Matt

Sometimes podcasters get sick of networking, and when they do they come slum it with me and play four player games. I saw Don of Don’s Pinball Podcast playing the end of a pretty ridic multiball on Metallica. I waited around and convinced him and the dude’s from BASH pinball podcast to shut the fuck up for two seconds and actually play some classic pinball. Of course I meant Diamond Lady!

I think I made them play three games. I won every time, but by the end they were figuring their shit out. Life finds a way.

Vs literal randos

Again, I played an old guy and some dude who had never played it before. Whooped both. Still felt same amount of self loathing after, but hey, a win is a win.

Game 3: Tony Hawk/Boys Night Out

Is it a cop out to have TWO homebrews? I don’t think so. This was the year of the homebrew. There were 40 frickin’ homebrews this year. And while there’s always a pretty wide variety in the quality of these games (if they even play), this year’s crop of games was fuckin’ good. There were several games that were at least as good as commercially made pinball machines. The SAW machine was nuts.

But the two games that I really fucked with are the aforementioned duo. Tony Hawk because it was literally the talk of expo. Every time someone walked by my booth, they asked if I’d played Tony Hawk and basically wouldn’t shut up about how cool it was. The problem was I couldn’t leave the booth much, and I never got a chance to play it while walking the floor. Like, there was always a line. That’s pretty amazing for a homebrew game. Both that people WANTED to play it, and that they COULD play it. Those things usually break on day 1.

Similarly, it was saturday night and I was burned the fuck out. It was midnight, and I walked by Mike from The Flipper Room’s booth – and it’s still fucking open. It was absolute insanity. Midnight on Saturday night! WHY??? But anyway, he’s talking to this guy, Joel Kaiser, who created a homebrew based on his indie feature, Boys Night Out.

I’d seen Boys Night Out a few years ago at Expo, but Joel really wanted me to try this version, which was evidently a complete revamp. I don’t remember what the old one was like, but this one was great. There were a variety of modes, everything was shootable, and IDK, it was just fun dude. The flow felt nice and I had a fun time playing it. It was exactly what I needed in that moment. It’s pretty cool when that feeling can come from a homebrew.

Notable games?

Vs Joel Kaiser

I beat Joel at his own game. That felt cool. Then I played it by myself, then I played it again by myself. So, I mean, that says something. I was having a fuckin’ ball. Also, there’s a guy doing coke on the playfield art. That’s nutty.

Vs Nobody

I wish I got to play Tony Hawk.

Game 4: Alice’s Adventures in Twerkurland

Last year, Barrel’s of Fun burst onto the scene with Labyrinth, which was an instant smash hit, with insane lines for the entirety of expo. It was an amazing roll out, and one I noted at the time for its punk rock way of generating buzz. Turns out, the game was good. People love labyrinth now. I don’t predict the same thing for Dutch Pinball’s Alice in Wonderland. I don’t really see it. I mean, I get that there’s a lot of expensive stuff involved, and it’s definitely a “collectible” — but to me that’s part of the problem.

Everything about this game feels half-baked, but made completely with the idea of a “limited edition” cash grab in mind. This is flipper behavior and I hate that attitude. Pinball is better when everyone can play it, not just a couple rich guys who hop on an LE list immediately. No spank you. Not for me. And Let me just say right now that I LOVE The Big Lebowski (also made by Dutch). It’s fun, retro, and integrates the theme in really novel and cool ways. But Alice ain’t that.

The cab artwork is absolutely brutal. A bastardization of Zombie Yeti’s original designs, it’s trying real hard to be sexy, but like in a weird cartoonish way. I think there’s a misconception that people don’t want sexy in pinball – they do. Look at any of the many photoshoots we’ve done. There’s plenty of sexy.

But AGAIN this ain’t that. The titular alice has the biggest boobs with the most invisible nipples of all time. And she's all over this game. And I dunno, the color palatte is weird man. Maybe it’s a european thing. I’ve seen an argument that the playfield art is good. Even that is kinda suspect. The playfield itself is cool if you like fairy tale aesthetics, but that’s never really been my thing. Even when I was a kid it made me feel sick to my stomach.

That said, there was a line the entire time. People want this game. It’s a status symbol. The media blitz of Kaneda and Cary Hardy did its job. Those guys sold the shit outta this game, and I guess if you’re into the aesthetic, it is kinda, uh, beautiful? It’s hard for me to say that because I definitely don’t see it, but 500 hungry pinball fans can’t be wrong. After all, they DID sell out.

But honestly? Who cares? I don’t look at pinball machines as investments or collectibles. I see them for what they are: games. And for that, gimme a game on Boys Night Out or Diamond Lady any day of the week. And those cost me exactly zero dollars. Happy Expo everybody.

Chicago Pinball Expo in Four Games